Letter from a Retailer - Show ME the funny

My oldest daughter sent me this and I just had to share it and "show me the funny". For those thinking that this resembles my sense of humor, I half-heartedly deny any personal resemblance to the feller in the story ... on atleast half of the "infractions". Enjoy ...

Letter from a Retailer

Mrs. Ed,

Our store is considering banning your family from ever shopping with us
unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offenses over the
past few months, all of which have been verified by our surveillance
cameras:

MEMO - Re: Mister Ed - Complaints
Sixteen things Mister Ed has done while his spouse was shopping:

June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts
when they weren't looking.
July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.
July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3'
in housewares... and watched what happened.
August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay
away.
September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding
department.
September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and
asks "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and
picked his nose.
November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk
if he knows where the antidepressants are.
December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the
"Mission Impossible" theme.
December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using
different size funnels.
December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled
"PICK ME! PICK ME!"
December 20: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the
fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
And, last (but not least!) -
December 21: Places prominent stickers on all the Microsoft branded computer accessories on the shelves that read "Not Compatible with Microsnot Windows XP".
And, last (but not least!) -
December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a while;
then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"